They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
