i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
This show inspires me to have sex in space
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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