If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
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