can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
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