12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
