I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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