True but thats because hes a fetus.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Randomize
