I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Randomize
