Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
