Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
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