Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
