She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
