Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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