i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Randomize
