Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
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