he shaved USA in his pubs
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Oh god it's open bar.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
