I need to stop coming to work sober
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
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