theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
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