You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Randomize
