garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
