Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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