what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
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