I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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