Christians are straight up FREAKS
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
