Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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