I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
