We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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