one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Randomize
