Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Randomize
