omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
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