I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
