best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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