day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
