You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
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