ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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