I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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