Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
