Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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