Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
You can't just leave with hair like that
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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