Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
