i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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