I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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