dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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