He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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