I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Randomize
