everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
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