The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
