Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
