I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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