After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
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