Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
