he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Randomize
