i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
