Can Purell be used as lube?
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
